Rite of Handfasting

A handfasting is an ancient European trial marriage ceremony in which a couple agree to be married for a specified amount of time, traditionally a year and a day. After the specified period of time the couple could renew the agreement for another year, choose to be married permanently, or go their separate ways. The term "handfasting" refers to the tradition of the couple either clasping hands or having their hands or wrists tied together with a cord of cloth during the ceremony (which is also the origin of the phrase "tying the knot"). It is primarily a Celtic tradition most common in the British Isles, and it has grown in popularity among Pagan and Wiccan couples as an alternative to a more traditional Christian wedding.

In the past, handfasting was one of the more common marriage ceremonies in the British Isles, especially in rural areas. Since it could be weeks or months before a clergyman came to some rural villages, couples had to learn to make allowances. They would be handfasted (traditionally in the presence of witnesses), which was the ancient equivalent to modern common-law marriage. In Scotland, marriages were considered a matter of the church until 1560, when marriage became a civil matter as opposed to a church sacrament. After that time, marriages were divided into "regular" marriages (in which banns were read and a clergyman performed the duties of the ceremony) and "irregular" marriages. Irregular marriages took place in one of three ways: a public declaration of the couple as husband and wife followed by the consummation of the marriage, by mutual agreement, or simply living together and being recognized as a married couple. These irregular marriages were considered as valid as regular marriages as long as the bride and groom were of legal age (12 for the bride and 14 for the groom) and not too closely related.

Land owners, gentries, and other members of the upper class were typically married in the "regular" way so that the legality of the marriage couldn't be called into question later. Handfastings and other "irregular" marriages were considered the domain of the lower-class peasants. Lord Harwicke's Act of 1753 declared that marriages in England were only legal if performed by the clergy, effectively outlawing handfastings in that country. Since the practice remained legal in Scotland up until 1939 it was not uncommon for English couples to elope to the Scottish border town of Gretna Green.

The term "handfasting" fell by the wayside until the 1950s when the witchcraft laws were repealed in England. At that time many occultists, witches, and neo-Pagans searched for a name for a non-Christian wedding. They settled on "handfasting" and revived the practice. A Pagan handfasting was meant to be a secret ceremony, held before one's own coven or study group. As Wicca and Paganism have become more mainstream, more and more couples have found ways to work their Pagan spirituality into their marriage ceremonies.

There are probably as many different handfasting rituals and traditions as there are people who have been married, and it is really up to the bride and groom to decide on what they want for their ceremony. Here are some of the elements that may be part of a traditional handfasting ceremony:

• The date of the ceremony is traditionally chosen to be near a full moon.
• The bride doesn't wear a traditional wedding gown. The bride and groom wear attractive clothes for the ceremony, with the bride usually dressed in red.
• The ceremony is held within a circle formed with rocks, crystals, or some other marker. Four candles are placed to mark the cardinal directions.
• The couple approaches the circle from the east, the direction of the sunrise. This symbolizes the growth of their relationship. The couple walks around the circle and enter from the east.
• The circle is then cast by the presider, usually a Wiccan priest or priestess.
• The couple recite a prepared statement, saying that they have come of their own free will "in perfect love and perfect trust." They then exchange rings.
• The presider will place a cord, ribbon, or strip of cloth on the hands of the bride and groom. After he or she advises the couple on their lives together, the couple is declared husband and wife.
• At the end of the ceremony the couple traditionally joins hands and jumps over a broomstick. This symbolizes their commitment to each other and their marriage.
• The priest or priestess who originally cast the circle then banishes it, ending the ceremony. A feast traditionally follows.

 

These are just some elements that may be part of a handfasting. There are countless variations, and it is up to the bride and groom to determine how they want to be joined.