Bring the comfort, Bring the hope
When death comes, the minister becomes a central figure in bringing comfort and hope to the sorrowing. ULC ministers are not likely to preside over funerals held in churches because the local pastor would be involved and certainly hold the service. The services explained here are for funeral chapel and graveside ceremonies.
Emphasis should be upon the need to set minds upon the eternal truths of God rather than the mortal remains of persons. A brief message or a lesson from Scripture as part of the service will help to fulfill this need. Baker's Funeral Handbook is a great reference manual covering eleven denominations and is available through the ULC catalog.
These days when the services of a minister are called for, there are thousands of un-churched individuals and families who have no family minister to turn to.
The Minister
Many ULC ministers are called upon to perform the ceremony in the funeral chapel only. Some are called upon for a graveside ceremony only. You should conduct yourself professionally and proudly as a representative of God, the culture and the community of believers according to the Faith. Not all funerals are religious in nature and the minister should be prepared to offer a civil ceremony without references to God or any particular belief system. The decision of the family must be honored; this is a one-time event and the memory that remains must prevail positively to the minister's benefit. Simply stated: do as you are asked.
The first aspect that arises in the funeral experience is the availability of the minister to the family for pastoral care and the ceremony itself. Death does not occur on a schedule. Oftentimes in our society the minister may not be familiar with the family or the deceased and may be called upon to perform the ceremony without any knowledge of the individual at all.
This adds to the importance of the minister planning well and being prepared to call into being the presence of God to comfort the family and friends. Depending upon how religious the family wishes the ceremony to be, the minister should be prepared to deliver a message of God's love and hope or to equally well deliver a message of understanding and hope for those families not wishing to have a religious-oriented service.
Non-Religous Funeral Ceremonies
Some families may wish to have a civil type ceremony where the religious aspects are not dwelt upon. In these types of ceremonies the aspects of comforting, love, concern, well-being of the surviving family members and friends are to be taken note of. It is appropriate for civil ceremonies to focus upon the lifetime achievements and community involvement of the deceased. Simply removing the word God, Jesus Christ, Holy Word, Scriptures and Amen may be sufficient to the family to be absent from a religious tone. Still the focus of the ceremony is to provide comfort and a caring attitude to the family and friends attending. A minister may be called upon for a Committal ceremony at the graveside for the purposes of the customs and tradition of the culture. Oftentimes there is a component of a military salute to the deceased.
Even families that are not churched often times become warmly disposed to religion at special events in life like birth, baptism, marriage and death. An aspect of the oneness or of the eternal essence is felt at these particular times in life and God is called upon for guidance, strength, understanding and comfort. If a family is not churched and wishes a civil or humanistic service, it is the responsibility of the minister to provide that type of ceremony with aspects of religion left out. Remember always that funerals are for the living not for the deceased and that the needs of the bereaved are utmost.
The minister is important to the ceremony and to the cultural aspects of how we care for our deceased. In addition, the minister is important as being a comforting soul to the family and friends. The minister presides over the ceremony and is directly responsible for the well programmed and carried out ceremony.
The Eulogy
Oftentimes it is requested that either a family member or close friend to give a EULOGY, which is a short talk of remembrance of the individual. There is no question of appropriate or inappropriate because the ceremony is for the living and anything that is requested by the family should be accommodated by the minister. A eulogy does not have to be solemn and can contain gentle humor that assists in the remembrance of the individual.
Over the years within our culture the eulogy has almost been abandoned and this is sad because it is a time for remembrance for all and especially for those in attendance that may not have known the deceased closely. It is common in these days for the minister to include some biographical content into the sermon or message which reminds individuals that the departed one was a member of a family or group and was at the same time an individual. This information is gained in the planning session with the family or designated responsible party. The minister should keep written notes of each planning decision.
There is no absolute format to conduct a funeral. I am going to presume that the minister is not well acquainted with the family and has been asked to preside over the funeral service in a funeral chapel. There may also requests for graveside services (committal ceremonies) and these are usually much shorter and involve only the minister speaking.
Planning
To help you plan the funeral service we have created a Funeral Planning Sheet(pdf) for you to use. This is only a rough guideline, more or less may be done depending on the families desires, remember, this is the families service and that your job is only to help them remember the one who passed in the way they want to.
